This may come as a surprise to some, but I am not a "talker". Now this may sound odd to anybody who has spent any length of time with me because I can talk about most anything and have an opinion on everything, but I am not a talker. I am a doer. Some people go through their life just talking about the bad stuff and not actually acting on anything. I am not one of those people. I may talk a lot, but everything I say I mean. I don’t just talk to talk. That’s not saying that I don’t exaggerate upon occasion, for example, I saw "The Dukes of Hazzard" this weekend and at the time I said that it was the worst movie ever made. Now is it ACTUALLY the worst movie ever made, probably not, but I think you get the idea. The bottom line is, I mean what I say, and I say what I mean.
So what brought on this diatribe? Well you see, I took a stand a couple of months ago, not only because I said I was going to, but it was also the right thing to do. Well I took this stand and now it seems that I am on an island. From February 2005 until October 2005 I worked for a man who I had hoped would serve as a mentor. Somebody who would take me under his wing and show me how to actually practice law. Teach me the things that you can’t and don’t learn in law school. At least that’s what he said when he hired me. Well he turned out to do anything but that. He was a complete tyrant with a massive Napoleon complex. He took advantage of his employees loyalty and ruled the office through fear an intimidation, never missing an opportunity to break someone’s spirit whenever possible.
This was the man who brought me into his office and said "Jay, I have no problem with your work, but when you walk around the office you just seem so relaxed, so obviously you aren’t don’t your job". He continued to berate me for always being in a good mood, how everybody liked me, and how no matter how stressed everybody else was, I always maintained my calm. Now he was saying these things as if they were a negative. I just didn’t get it. I asked him specifically if he or anybody has ever had a problem with my work, he said no. I asked if I had ever been late with any of my assignments, he said no. I asked if there was ever a time when I didn’t get one of the special projects he had for me done, he said no. All of that and yet, because I could be productive and still get my job done, I was somehow deserving a reprimand. Well, that was my last day at that job. I left right after that conversation. How could I possibly continue to work there. I tried to come back after a brief vacation in California, but too many feelings were hurt.
There is a psychology theory known as "Learned Helplessness" where for example, if you beat down a dog continually over a long period of time, he will learn to be helpless. He won’t fight back anymore, but just take the beating. Well I refuse to just take the beating, but unfortunately it seems like I am the only one.
The bottom line is that I’m not a talker... and the Dukes of Hazzard sucked.
